An Ode to Facebook, Part 2

A Blast from the Distant Past

Disclaimer: This post includes references to Tijuana, dirty clubs, and things my parents probably don’t know about.  So if you, the reader, would care to maintain your view of me as the perfect child I was, I recommend waiting for tomorrow’s post.  If you want to read a funny story about how these three things came back to bight me in the butt, please read on.

To start, I love Facebook.  It is the perfect platform for the voyeur, exhibitionist, and cyber stalker alike, and allows people from all walks of life to reconnect.  I find it perfectly acceptable to “friend” your coworkers, people from last night’s party, and the hot friend of a friend you’d like to get to know better.  Present and future friends are all acceptable additions to your Facebook popularity bank.

Additions that are not always acceptable are the ghosts from relationships past.  We’ve all experienced the rush of friend requests leading up to and following a reunion, and if you have photos of the two of you wearing braces or soccer jerseys, you should probably accept.  But if you had a brief fling in say, Tijuana, and then wrote letters to each other (because it was definitely before the advent of the worldwide web), you should probably let sleeping dogs lay.

Recently, I got a notification from Facebook telling me a guy named Dyk wanted to be my friend.  Curious, since I didn’t know I knew anyone named Dyk, I took peak around his page.  Apparently he’s an overstuffed Asian guy with a bald head and tats, who likes brushing his teeth without a shirt while taking his photo in the mirror.  Quite the multitasker, now aren’t we?

Still with no idea who this guy was, or how to pronounce his name, I read the message:

Subject: Hey lauren

This Is kinda crazy. But I was going through some very old letters and found an old letter from u about 14 years ago. I met u in tijuana at some Nasty club on super bowl weekend. I was 18-19 years old then. Anyways I’m not sure if this is you, but if it is hello. I think u lived in del mar back then. Sorry to bother u. Just wanted to say hi. Fb allows this kinda funny stuff to happen.

A few comments if I may.

First, if the words “nasty,” “Tijuana,” and “club” appear anywhere in the description of where you met someone, maybe the evening wasn’t as magical as you think.

Second, if you do decide it’s appropriate to reconnect, you should probably do your best to write with proper grammar, punctuation, and maybe make the effort to type out the word “you”.  I know it’s a lot to ask, but it’s not a text message.

Third, for the love of God, tell me what I wrote in those letters.

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